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Lesson 18 Roles

Begin this lesson when you complete your biographical studies. We are now going to study the “roles” or “parts one plays” in the different situations of everyday life. These roles are important and useful. They help one save energy because they are codified or memorized systems of behavior; they enable one to adapt to the social environment. But sometimes roles are incorrectly formed, or one may not have any role at all for a new situation. One may also confuse roles by trying to use a role adequate for one situation in some other situation where it does not correspond. Young people have very few roles. In contrast, mature people may possess quite a repertoire, but many of their roles may be incorrectly formed or they may confuse roles in different situations. In any event, it requires sustained work to correct one’s roles because they have deep-set roots ingrained throughout life by successive repetitions. When you finish this study of your roles we suggest you review the Situation Analysis exercise of Lesson 16 and try to establish connections between these two lessons that will increase your understanding of your situation and your behavior as a response to this situation. Now proceed to list your various roles. Note that simply listing, for example, the role of “professor” does not in itself tell us much unless one also explains the style or manner in which the role is carried out. Thus, one should also mention whether one is a good or bad professor, whether one has a tyrannical or charming manner, whether one is persuasive, demanding, compliant, etc. It is important to note that no matter how varied the roles one has in everyday life, in all of them there is a certain basic attitude. Identifying this common attitude will explain to a great extent how some of one’s roles become incorrectly formed, why others are confusions of different roles, or why some roles are especially difficult for one to master. The goal of this exercise is to determine the basic attitude common to all one’s roles. This attitude will be the synthesis of what one learns in reviewing all one’s roles.

Exercise 3 In this exercise, briefly describe your roles in each of the situations, as given in this example:

AT WORK: Role of energetic boss, etc. Role of subordinate, cautious person, etc.; AT HOME: Role of the severe father, similar to the role of boss at work, etc.; WITH FRIENDS: Role of boss with friends of “lesser status,” etc. Role of counselor with those of “greater status,” etc.; WITH OPPOSITE SEX: Role of happy-go-lucky youth, etc. ; IN NEW SITUATIONS: Role of silent observer and biting critic, etc. IN DIFFICULT SITUATIONS: Role of companion, never of boss, etc.; BASIC ATTITUDE: An uncompensated feeling of insecurity that shows up as a fear of being questioned. I avoid questioning by using seductive attitudes.

Deduce the basic attitude by looking for similarities in the way you carry out all the roles. Also note which circumstances incorrectly formed roles appear in, and any circumstances in which you find yourself unable to respond, without a role. Finally, compare this exercise with Exercise 1, the Situation Analysis. Write any pertinent comments in your notebook.